A Frank Talk with God

Your Word says, “Come near to Me and I will come near to you.”

I’ve sought for thirty-seven years to draw closer to You 

But have yet to unlatch the lock into the Holy of holies.

I did enter euphoria with my spouse that You graciously had given me.

Making my communal expectations with You even greater.

 

I read Your Word daily

And give my best effort in all I do. 

Uphold Your laws and put into practice Your truths. 

I worship and praise You 

However, I am still frustrated with my conjugal relationship with You.

 

Maybe I’ve mistakenly believed that You would visually appear

Or talk to me in an audible voice. 

Perhaps reveal to me future events or blessings

Or give me secret knowledge to share with the world.

 

I have completed projects 

That I know Your hand has directed me

Such as eight years of fundraising for Ugandan orphans

Which culminated in a Christian school 

For many of the poorest of the poor.

 

But now that Julia has been promoted 

And is enjoying the fruits of heaven

I seek even greater intimacy with You

For Julia would not only listen but answer me.

 

Yet, when I prayed for encouragement during her cancer ordeal

I sought to hear from You by Your Word

 But only got riddles

Like “No Word from God will ever fail.”

Three and a half days later, She flew to be with You.

I rejoice for Julia, to be released from her prison of pain

But confused by Your answer.

 

Maybe, I’m asking for something only available for a few chosen 

Or do I lack the key that those elite have discovered.

Yet, even so, I believe that prayer with You

Is better than the intimacy of a spouse.

 

Please help me Comforter to access this kind of union.

I want to grow in my love of You

To demonstrate gratefulness for Your sacrifice, Sweet Hope

And to revel in the quintessential hugging caress of the Abba of fathers!

 

I JUST DON’T KNOW

I don’t know, why you never saw the sun  
Or felt the warm wind blow, I just don’t know 
And I don’t know why I had to lose you like I did
And feel this sorrow, I just don’t know

But for Your glory My God I will trust You in all things
Yes for Your glory My God this heart of mine will sing